Obama to Motorists: Gas Too Expensive? Use Algae!

Gas prices in the Garden State now average $3.55 per gallon, up 5 cents in just the past week.

Worry not, Jersey Shore residents!

President Obama has a plan… algae. God knows you have plenty of that! So when it’s too expensive for tourists to frequent your shops, restaurants and beaches this summer season, all you need do is grab a pail, a funnel, and start filling the tank of every car with a NY or PA license plate.

From the horse’s mouth this past Thursday in Miami:

We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance, algae — you’ve got a bunch of algae out here. If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing alright. Believe it or not, we could replace up to 17 percent of the oil we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in America.”

Sure, we could also build new refineries, develop nuclear power, and exploit ample domestic oil reserves. Doing so would end our reliance on Middle Eastern dictatorships and radical Islamic regimes. It’s called killing two birds with one stone, and it wouldn’t require waiting decades for science fiction to catch up with modern realities.

Note how the President said “if we can figure out how.” Newsflash: it’s not a plan if we don’t know how to do it. Let’s go with the strategy that is guaranteed to succeed.

But how would that make the President’s environmental backers feel any better? Their happiness is more important than America’s economic security.