As you probably are aware, John Edwards, former Democrat Senator, Vice Presidential candidate, and Presidential candidate, is currently facing trial for the misuse of campaign funds to cover up his affair with a member of his staff. The affair brought a child into the world and was covered up for a good amount of time, all while Edwards was still married to his wife, the late Elizabeth Edwards. John Edwards is, in every sense of the word, a corrupt scum bag. How can I make such a claim? Well, now polling backs it up!
According to the latest CBS poll, John Edwards enjoys a 3 percent favorability rating among Americans. My favorite part of the poll? The margin of error is +/- 3 percent as well! This means that it is actually possible that a statistical zero percent of Americans hold a positive view of the politician turned adulterous criminal.
To put this poll into perspective and have a little fun, I have compiled a list of things that Americans hate less than they hate John Edwards. This list is based on polling I found while Googling (* indicates the lowest favorability poll ever for the person/thing):
- Super PACs – 12% favorable
- George W. Bush* – 28%
- Richard Nixon* – 24%
- Jimmy Carter* – 29%
- Congress* – 9%
- Bees – 27%
- Water-boarding Terrorists – 50%
- Socialism – 36%
- California – 27%
- New Jersey – 25%
- Detriot, MI – 22%
- Gold Dollar Coins – 27%
- Iran – 10%
- Gay Marriage – 53%
- Voter ID Laws – 73%
- Federal Bailouts for States – 26%
- Reinstitution of the Draft – 18%
- Cloning Humans – 12%
- God’s Handling of Natural Disasters – 50%
- The United Nations – 31%
- Lawyers – 29%
- Bankers – 23%
- The Federal Government – 17%
- The Rut-Row Merger – 19%
- Communism – 11%
- Fidel Castro – 5%
- Facebook’s Timeline feature – 20%
- Occupy Wall Street – 16%
- Taxes on Junk Food – 38%
- Jersey Shore (television show) – 12%
Unfortuantely there is no serious polling done on more strange topics, but come on, people prefer bees, Jersey Shore, Communism, lawyers, and God’s handling of natural disasters to John Edwards. I would imagine that, if such polling were done, toxic waste, root canals, traffic jams, allergies, hangnails, feet, Stalin, and the NBA would outpoll Edwards. If you have anything to add to the list, don’t hesitate to throw it in the comments!
If found guilty, Edwards faces up to 30 years in prison. 97 percent of Americans cannot wait to hear that verdict.
