Cross-Posted from DanCirucci.com
Now that 2025 has finally arrived, let’s clean the slate and get rid of 25 people we don’t need around in the new year — 25 people (in no particular order) who should get lost:
John Bolton – We’d call you ‘ole walrus face but we don’t wanna insult the noble walrus. Shut up and go away!
Sean “Diddy” Combs – The more we hear, the sicker and more repulsive it gets. Scram!
George Stephanopoulos – We know how to spell your name, we just don’t know when to stop. And neither do you. Quit already!
Andy Kim – So what if you were just elected. We’re tired of you already. Take your little whisk broom and hide away somewhere, please!
Lea Thomas – Your medals are fraudulent and so are you. Splish splash away!
Taylor and Travis – Your romance, or business merger, or whatever — is just tiresome. Smooch somewhere else.
Oprah – Guess what, darling? Your act has worn thin and it remains practically the only thing about you that is. Exit, stage left.
Karl Rove – You were a wunderkind, what . . . 20+ years ago? C’mon, man — who you foolin’? It’s time!
Matt Gaetz – In a word, SORDID. And that’s probably putting it kindly. At the very least, how about a good, long stay in the penalty box? Kerplunk!
Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi – The best argument for term limits so far. Let that be the final piece of legislation you sponsor, then resign!
Jennifer Lopez – After the losing year you’ve had (Bennifer, etc.) it’s time to take your booty far, far away, baby. BuhhBye
Kristen Welker – We remember the glory days of Meet The Press (Brokaw, Russert, even Spivak). You’re just not in that league, sweetie. Cub reporter status maybe?
Alex Jones – Truth is we really never found you very interesting and your latest round of notoriety hasn’t helped. Silencio!
James Corden – You’ve been called mean, shallow, talentless and insufferable. No wonder your TV show is gone. Don’t come back and don’t let the door hit you in the ass.
Justin Trudeau – You mean you haven’t gotten the message yet? Time’s up! Head for the back bench and stay there!
Ellen Degeneres – Is it true that you’ve decamped to England or Europe or somewhere over there? Please confirm — and don’t return!
Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon – Not just Carson and Parr but even Arsenio would be appalled! Take your whining and sobbing and babbling somewhere else. Goodnight!
David Muir – You were America’s anchorman, or so it seemed. But during that one debate, you squandered all your credibility. For your penance, share a cell with Stephanopoulos.
James Carville – Even if you were right about Kamala and the Democrats, nobody cares — not then, not now. And hardly anybody even knows who are anyway. Au revoir!
Bruce Springsteen – Maybe those drones over Joizee were comin’ for you — to take you away and give us (and the rest of the world) some badly-needed relief. Ever think of that?
Bill Gates – It was okay that you were a nerd — or even brainy. It’s when you became presumptuous, officious, pompous and a nag that things started to go to hell. Not that we’re necessarily wishing the same route for you, but . . . .
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen – Legend isn’t your real name. And you’re not a legend and never have been. And we don’t care about your political views. Ditto, Chrissy. Now play us the opening notes of “Time To Say Goodbye.”
Meghan and Harry – We’re gonna keep you on the list every year until you leave us and the rest of the world alone. Tah tah!
Josh Shapiro – Has it occurred to you that you’re hopelessly overrated, uninspiring and imitative? May we suggest a sustained, contemplative retreat?
Mark Cuban (pictured) – As many times as you succeed in making a complete fool of yourself, you keep coming back. You need to go the way of The Mooch and poof — be gone!
