If I Were King of the World

By Dale Glading | The Save Jersey Blog

We are fast approaching the “dog days of summer,” Save Jerseyans, and there is no better place to pass those lazy hours than daydreaming on a beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

In the midst of my daydreaming, I came up with a Top 10 list of things that I would do if I were King of the World for one day.  The first five are serious and the next four are a little more whimsical.  Number 10 speaks for itself.

Let me know what you think…

1. I would introduce legislation to make English our national language.

2. Once that bill passed, I would introduce legislation to forbid any government signs or publications from being printed in any language other than English.  If you want to vote or receive benefits from our federal, state and/or local governments, learn our national language.

3. Speaking of voting, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Bush v. Gore that there is no constitutionally guaranteed right to vote.  As American citizens, we have the right to be represented by others as well as the right to run for certain offices ourselves.  However, the so-called “right to vote” is a privilege and therefore, it can be regulated just like any other privilege such as driving a car.  Along these lines, I would require citizens who wish to register to vote to demonstrate a proficiency in English and basic civics.

4. My fourth piece of proposed legislation would be written on a 3 by 5 card.  It would simply state that no bill can be introduced for consideration that exceeds 100 pages in length.  If you can’t say it in 100 pages or less, it doesn’t need to be said.  That would put an end to monstrosities like the 2,000 page Affordable Care Act (i.e. Obamacare) as well as the 1,200 immigration reform bill – and save a lot of trees in the process.

5. I would also introduce a bill to constitutionally impose term limits on all federal officeholders.  Our founding fathers desired citizen representatives, not career politicians and they would be appalled to see men like Rep. John Dingell serving 57 years in Congress.  For the record, of the 46 men who have served more than 40 years in either the House or the Senate, 35 of them were Democrats… just saying.

6. I would require Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to write, “I will not play the race card ever again”, on a blackboard one million times.  Or if they prefer, on a whiteboard.  America will never get beyond race as an issue until these two charlatans stop their race-baiting and find real jobs.

7. Anyone caught driving with their windows down and the bass on their car radios blaring would have their vehicle impounded on the spot and be forced to complete 1,000 hours of community service at a school for the deaf as well as pass a college level course on classical music.

8. Anyone found walking around in public with their pants hanging below their butt would be required to wear that same pair of pants up around their armpits like Steve Urkel for the next 100 days.  Repeat offenders would have to – well, let’s just say that I would make sure there weren’t any repeat offenders!

9. Applicants for food stamps or other federal assistance programs would have to prove that they didn’t pay more than $75 for a pair of sneakers during the past 30 days.  I am tired of subsidizing people who are eating and dressing better than me.

10. President Obama would be required to tell the American people where he was and what he was doing while Ambassador Stevens and the three former Navy SEALS were fighting for their lives in Benghazi.

Sorry, but I have to stop now. It’s almost dusk as I write this and my one-day reign is about to end.  Yes, there should be term limits for Kings of the World, too.

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