10 Ways Cory Booker is Coping with His Veep Disappointment

10 Ways Cory Booker is Coping with His Veep Disappointment

By Matt Rooney | The Save Jersey Blog

Hillary Clinton is going with a U.S. Senator to serve as her running mate, Save Jerseyans, but he’s not from New Jersey.  The Tim Kaine pick is a major personal defeat for the former Newark mayor and incumbent Garden State junior senator. Cory Booker wanted this job. Badly.

And even though he’s blocked me on Twitter (!), I still care about him. Because I’m that kind of guy!

I couldn’t help but ponder how he’s coping. Knowing him as well as I do, I have few educated guesses….

NOTE: this list is not all-inclusive….

(1) Emoting on Twitter with a Freudian slip:

(2) Binge-reading Winnie the Pooh, mentally escaping to Hundred Acre Wood by channeling Piglet

(3) Consuming obscene amounts of soy products in between crying fits at D.C.-area Whole Foods stores

(4) Playing Pokémon Go all over the Ironbound (and tweeting about it)

cory booker(5) Researching how to legally change his last name from Booker to “Withher” so that it’s on message and the aspired-to pairing wouldn’t be an unfortunate sounding Clinton-Booker (phonetic: “book her”) ticket

(6) Calling Chris Christie at inappropriate hours of the night and asking for one of those “hugs” he gave President Obama

(7) Adopting a dog he personally rescues from a fire during work hours

(8) Buying himself something fun and frivolous with that missing $100 million from Facebook

(9) Finally attend a meeting of that Newark Watershed Conservation and Development Corporation (NWCDC) everyone is talking about just for the hell of it

(10) Taking a long, quiet walk with his imaginary friend, T-Bone