(Disclaimer: This article contains some disturbing content.)
I am sure that it comes as no surprise that, until this week, I had never heard of “Lil Tay.” After all, what would a 63-year-old man whose car radio is tuned to “Siriously Sinatra” have to do with a 14-year-old former Instagram star? However, when I learned of her reported death (which remains unconfirmed and disputed as of this time), I did a little research into Lil Tay, whose youth was stolen by her money-grabbing and celebrity-seeking parents.
Born Claire Hope, she rose to international prominence at the tender age of nine (no, that’s not a typo). What is her claim to fame? Did she set an athletic record for her age group or reach an academic milestone? On the contrary, Claire’s sole contribution to society appears to be a series of profanity-laced videos in which she poses with sports cars and other symbols of her allegedly lavish lifestyle.
Lil Tay “went dark” in 2018 and hadn’t been heard from since amidst a nasty divorce between her parents and rumors of a possible suicide. Likewise, her brother was also reported to have died recently, cause unknown (again, the veracity of the news is now in doubt).
Sadly, if Claire Hope’s passing had come to pass, then it wouldn’t be an abberation. A quick Google search of the phrase, “social influencer deaths” resembles the obituary page at a geriatric nursing home. Tragically, these influencers are dying in their teens and twenties, not their 80s and 90s, and often due to suicide.
Etika, a YouTube rapper who was born Desmond Daniel Amotah, committed suicide at age 29 after battling mental illness for a decade or more. Niece Waidhofer, who starred in “Roast Me” on Reddit, also took her own life at age 31. Caitlyn Loane, a rural farmer in Australia whose videos went viral, died by her own hand at just 19.
The worst of the bunch – at least so far – seems to be Luo Xiao Mao Mao Zi, a “Douyin” app celebrity in China who drank pesticide on livestream while her fans and followers egged her on. She was 25.
Each of these incidents is an individual tragedy. Collectively, they point to an even larger societal problem that is raging out of control in virtually every country in the world. Specifically, I am talking about the untold damage that social media is doing to our young people, creating unhealthy, unrealistic, and unattainable images of supposed success.
As parents, we used to worry about our daughters developing anorexia and bulimia because of the malnourished and airbrushed “role” models that graced the cover of teen magazines. Now, we are afraid that our kids will succumb to peer pressure by engaging in outlandish and often dangerous behavior in an elusive attempt to achieve self-worth.
Greg Plitt, an American model and fitness buff, wanted to prove the effectiveness of an energy drink he was promoting and so, he tried to outrun a moving train. He lost. Instagram star Sofia Cheung climbed to the top of a waterfall to share a selfie with her thousands of online followers, but when she slipped, she lost her fans… and her life.
Other social media stars have died at the hands of their crazed fans. Flight attendant Christine Angelica Dacera, age 23, was found unconscious in her hotel room bathtub on New Year’s Day in 2021. Eleven Filipino men – presumed to be among her 12,800 followers – were later charged with her rape and murder.
Didn’t we learn a lesson by watching the adolescent struggles of child stars like Drew Barrymore and Macaulay Culkin? And why is society hellbent on elevating a prepubescent Greta Thunberg to superstar status, hanging on her every word as if she were the greatest statesman since Winston Churchill… or the modern-day equivalent of Golda Meir?
So, you might ask, what is the solution? How can we put the proverbial genie back in the bottle?
Obviously, there are no easy answers or simple solutions. For far too long, we have allowed our kids virtually unlimited access to the internet and social media, both of which can be agents for good or conduits for mental and moral corruption. But we have to start somewhere and so, here are a few suggestions…
First, why not deny access to all non-educational websites to children under a certain age? If you can’t buy cigarettes or drink alcohol legally until you’re 21 because those products are harmful to your body, why not prohibit access to things that corrode a young person’s mind?
By the same token, how about equipping cellphones with a trigger mechanism that automatically shuts the phone down, blocking access to the internet, after one-hour’s use over a 24-hour period? Maintain the ability to place and receive emergency phone calls, but no texting or instant messaging allowed.
As the introduction to the Six Million Dollar Man used to say (yes, I’m showing my age)… “We have the technology.”
Other than cutting back on social media usage, another constructive step that parents can take is being more engaged in their kids’ lives. Don’t just be a spectator; coach their teams or volunteer at their school. Don’t just drive them to church; teach their Sunday School class or help lead their youth group. And at the risk of being called every name in the book including hopelessly old-fashioned, why not quit your workplace job for a stay-at-home position… or cut back your hours so you can see you child off to school in the morning and be there when they come home in the afternoon, too.
Active (not helicopter) parenting is one of the keys to helping your child successfully navigate adolescence. It also helps to remember that they have lots of friends but only one set of parents; so be a parent. Yes, even if that makes you temporarily unpopular with your teen or tween.
The bottom line is that YOU should be the most important social influencer in your child’s life.
