1) Showing off your tattoos. Hey, if you want to deface your body, that’s your business. But we’d rather not see it. So, keep it covered. OK?
2) Under Armor. The Under Armor brand seems to be everywhere lately and we’re tired of it. Tired of looking at it and the all-pervasive Under Armor logo. Give it up.
3) Wearing baseball caps backwards. This is so 1980s. And yet it seems to be coming back. Ugh!
4) Bikinis in plus sizes — yes, ones that women actually dare to wear. Frightening! OMG! Equally bad: Women over a certain age who wear two-piece bathing suits.
5) Cigarettes and cigars on the beach. Please don’t smoke on the beach. It’s stinky, gross, dirty and dangerous. Go away!
6) Drinking beer in the pool. In fact, don’t drink anything in the pool. If you want to drink, get the hell out of the pool and drink there. And please don’t put your beer on the edge of the pool. It’s gross.
7) Collapsable beach pavilions and beach tents. It’s not enough for some people to bring a chair and an umbrella to the beach — no, they have to set up a full-on encampment. What’s what that?
8) Beer bellies. Guys, we can’t imagine why in hell you would be proud of such a thing nor why you would attempt to show it off. Cover it up! And, BTW: We don’t wanna see your butt crack either.
9) Huge vehicles and SUVs. We often wonder how much bigger they can get. And then we turn around and another big kahuna has pulled out in front of us or blocked our view as we’re trying to pull into or out of a parking space. Whatever happened to sensible-sized family sedans?
10) Intense public displays of affection. Get a room!