TRENTON, N.J. – If you’re anticipating a boring guest list for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, Save Jerseyans? You’ll probably be compliant with Governor Phil Murphy’s list of “don’ts” – unveiled on Monday – which he says will keep you safe from COVID-19. Congratulations!
By the way: it’s a very interesting list…
- Limit your gathering to 10 guests
- Impose a 14-day quarantine ahead of dinner between anyone who doesn’t reside in the same household
- Enforce 6 feet of distance between people who don’t live together at the actual event
- No handshakes
- No hugs
- No direct contact
- Outdoors > indoors
- Encourage hand-washing
- Masks! Of course. Whenever you’re not eating or drinking.
- Provide extra masks, hand sanitizer, etc., for your guests.
- Use disposable towles and eating utensils/plates
- NO SHOUTING, SINGING, OR LOUD MUSIC.
Tha’s a real list, folks!
The indoor gathering occupancy limit is an actual order; the other “guideline” rules are also accurately classified as commands because the Murphy Administration is telling us that we’re going to die – or cause others to die – if we don’t follow the promulgated state guidelines.
And no, despite how the list reads, Governor Murphy isn’t the pastor from Footloose. John Lithgow and Phil Murphy share a hairline but that’s about it in the talent department.
Long-time readers may remember my satirical “10 Rules for Accommodating Liberal Relatives” post which we re-post every year around Thanksgiving. It’s feeling less and less like a joke with every passing year.