Everything Is Racist: The Definitive List!

By Matt Rooney

In case you haven’t heard, Save Jerseyans, EVERYTHING IS NOW RACIST. In fact, it always was! You just didn’t know it until the #woke crowd came along to explain and condescend. Our civilization is a veritable catalog of racial bias. Apparently.

Christmas carols. Popular sandwiches. Common expressions.

The great Thomas Sowell (a recently-retired black conservative commentator) once observed that “[t]he word ‘racism’ is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything – and demanding evidence makes you a ‘racist.’

We’ve begun building a definitive list of all things ‘racist’ below for your benefit. And yes, ketchup made the cut.

It’s not done yet and might never be completed (since everything technically qualifies for the list). Many of the more interesting additions have hyperlinks to help you take a deeper dive into why the thing in question is racist. We’ll continue updating it for you as time progresses, and you’re certainly welcome to highlight anything we missed in the comments section below:

  1. Classical music
  2. Facial recognition technology
  3. ‘Jingle Bells’
  4. The White House
  5. Peanut butter and jelly
  6. The Washington and Jefferson memorials
  7. ‘Happy Xmas, War Is Over’
  8. The expression “sold down the river
  9. The expression “long time no see
  10. The Declaration of Independence
  11. ‘The Christmas Song’
  12. Star Wars/Darth Vader
  13. Peanut galleries
  14. Indian sports mascots 
  15. Voter ID Laws
  16. “God Bless America
  17. The National Anthem
  18. Police officers
  19. Ketchup
  20. The legal system
  21. Disney’s Dumbo 
  22. The English language
  23. Republicans
  24. Chopsticks
  25. The Gadsden Flag
  26. Animal House
  27. Opposition to illegal immigration
  28. Zoning laws
  29. All white men
  30. Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
  31. Standardized testing
  32. Gucci
  33. Prada
  34. Buildings named after white men
  35. Conservatives
  36. City bicycle rentals
  37. Dress codes
  38. Self-driving cars
  39. The United States of America
  40. Kellogg’s Corn Pops
  41. Mathematics
  42. The U.S. Constitution
  43. Aunt Jemima products
  44. Any television shows or movies without a ‘major’ non-white character
  45. Fast food
  46. Commercial advertisements featuring fatherless black families
  47. Steve Martin’s iconic ‘King Tut’ SNL sketch
  48. Pornography
  49. Peter Pan
  50. The Jungle Book
  51. Dr. Seuss books
  52. Liquor stores in majority minority neighborhoods
  53. The American Flag
  54. Betsy Ross’s Flag
  55. Tipping
  56. The expression ‘no can do’
  57. The Food Pyramid
  58. Some pet dogs
  59. Most medical physicians
  60. Rideshare
  61. Grandfather clauses
  62. TBD
  63. TBD
  64. TBD
  65. To be continued…


MATT ROONEY is a practicing New Jersey attorney, regular A+ panelist on ‘Chasing News with Bill Spadea,’ and the founder and blogger-in-chief of ‘Save Jersey.’

Matt Rooney
About Matt Rooney 8473 Articles
MATT ROONEY is SaveJersey.com's founder and editor-in-chief, a practicing New Jersey attorney, and the host of 'The Matt Rooney Show' on 1210 WPHT every Sunday evening from 7-10PM EST.