By Matt Rooney
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In case you haven’t heard, Save Jerseyans, EVERYTHING IS NOW RACIST. In fact, it always was! You just didn’t know it until the #woke crowd came along to explain and condescend. Our civilization is a veritable catalog of racial bias. Apparently.
Christmas carols. Popular sandwiches. Common expressions.
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The great Thomas Sowell (a recently-retired black conservative commentator) once observed that “[t]he word ‘racism’ is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything – and demanding evidence makes you a ‘racist.’“
We’ve begun building a definitive list of all things ‘racist’ below for your benefit. And yes, ketchup made the cut.
It’s not done yet and might never be completed (since everything technically qualifies for the list). Many of the more interesting additions have hyperlinks to help you take a deeper dive into why the thing in question is racist. We’ll continue updating it for you as time progresses, and you’re certainly welcome to highlight anything we missed in the comments section below:
- Classical music
- Facial recognition technology
- ‘Jingle Bells’
- The White House
- Peanut butter and jelly
- The Washington and Jefferson memorials
- ‘Happy Xmas, War Is Over’
- The expression “sold down the river“
- The expression “long time no see“
- The Declaration of Independence
- ‘The Christmas Song’
- Star Wars/Darth Vader
- Peanut galleries
- Indian sports mascots
- Voter ID Laws
- “God Bless America“
- The National Anthem
- Police officers
- Ketchup
- The legal system
- Disney’s Dumbo
- The English language
- Republicans
- Chopsticks
- The Gadsden Flag
- Animal House
- Opposition to illegal immigration
- Zoning laws
- All white men
- Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
- Standardized testing
- Gucci
- Prada
- Buildings named after white men
- Conservatives
- City bicycle rentals
- Dress codes
- Self-driving cars
- The United States of America
- Kellogg’s Corn Pops
- Mathematics
- The U.S. Constitution
- Aunt Jemima products
- Any television shows or movies without a ‘major’ non-white character
- Fast food
- Commercial advertisements featuring fatherless black families
- Steve Martin’s iconic ‘King Tut’ SNL sketch
- Pornography
- Peter Pan
- The Jungle Book
- Dr. Seuss books
- Liquor stores in majority minority neighborhoods
- The American Flag
- Betsy Ross’s Flag
- Tipping
- The expression ‘no can do’
- The Food Pyramid
- Some pet dogs
- Most medical physicians
- Rideshare
- Grandfather clauses
- TBD
- TBD
- TBD
- To be continued…
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MATT ROONEY is a practicing New Jersey attorney, regular A+ panelist on ‘Chasing News with Bill Spadea,’ and the founder and blogger-in-chief of ‘Save Jersey.’
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